How to shoplift on the self serve:

Not nearly as funny as that post I wrote about buying condoms on self-serve, but hell, this is advice we all need.

1. The real basics: shopping centres have cops in the carparks these days, and fat security guards that probably aren’t that smart but definitely bigger than you. Pick a busy day, don’t look shifty, etc. As much as I’d prefer not to judge, being an old woman is your easiest disguise (Ruth gave good advice in Six Feet Under). You also need props: other shopping bags to put the things you’re stealing, a few cheap items you buy to get through the registers (a coke, chocolate bar, the newspaper etc) and maybe an accomplice.

2. Choose your prize. This means ruling out all items that attract attention (big things like TV’s DUH unless its Boxing Day cos apparently five or so got stolen through self serve last year LOLZ). The trick is to avoid anything with a magnetic barcode: expensive underwear (is the barcode thick? A bit silvery? If it is, rip the sticker off, the barcode is magnetic and will beep), doona covers/sheets, cosmetics (foundation/creams etc), apple accessories (commonly stolen). Of course, stealing anything with these codes is do-able, you just have to find yourself a nice corner that isn’t monitored by the TVs. And no staff members around. Things without magnetic barcodes: most clothing, appliances (check though), cds, jewellery, any packaged food items (not to be sniffed at, Lindt chocolates are not cheap!), books…most things really.

3. Step 2 is about choosing wisely to avoid detection once you’ve stolen the item, but you do have to make it past the self-serve machine. Usually when you first start scanning there is an option for ‘own bag’…what this does is re-set the weight of the machine, allowing you to put as much shit on it as you like. For instance, if you rock up with a ‘green bag’ you can dump a bunch of things you’ve stolen and say you bought them somewhere else. If you try and place what you want to steal in the bagging area without scanning THE MACHINE WILL DETECT YOU AND HAVE A MELTDOWN BECAUSE IT RECOGNIZES AN UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA. Don’t don’t do it, folks.

What to do: hide the item in another bag. Or, if its too big, the next best option is to work in pairs. Have a friend use another one of the machines at the same time as you, and this friend will have to pretend to buy ridiculous things like 10 slabs of coke or nappies or washing detergent - anything big that causes weight problems on the machines will do. Your friend will not have to buy anything - they just have to get so pissed off and say they’ll ’go to a normal register’ and then walk out, plenty of people do this. You will leave the item/s you want to steal on the side unscanned, and then while your friend is arguing with the attendant, walk out without paying. Make sure another customer/staff member isn’t watching you either, but that’s usually not a problem because everyone is too busy yelling at their own self-serve machine to notice.

4. Get the fuck out of the shopping centre IMMEDIATELY. Park your car close. We have security cameras on the self-serve machines now (though they’re not really monitored), and we have plain-clothed security people running all over. If you’re smart enough to steal something, you should be smart enough to know this.

My love affair with the trumpet

In grade 4 I started to play the trumpet. Originally I wanted to play the clarinet, but, because I only have seven fingers (and two thumbs!) I couldn't. So, the music teacher at our primary school suggested the trumpet, because to play the trumpet you use three fingers on your right hand and that's it. At the time my mother was of the opinion that "oh well maybe you just shouldn't learn an instrument" but the music teacher at school basically sold the idea to me and I had a few lessons. I loved it, and my parents bought me a cheap Yamaha trumpet to last a few more years (It was mine! All mine! With a new mouthpiece! And a music stand! And a cleaning kit! It was so exciting at the time...)


High school: continued with lessons. Apparently I'd learned some 'bad habits' and I had to start afresh again, but whatever. It was fun. I joined the Year 7-9 Symphonic Orchestra and soon after the Stage Band. About 3 of 5 lunchtimes per week were taken up my Brass Ensemble/lessons/Symphonic Winds rehearsals and so on. The symphonic orchestra was less fun for brass instruments...we were usually the naughty kids at the back passing Natural Confectionary lollies to each other and making fun of the fat kids who for some reason always played the flute. Often our (celiac, vegetarian and well liked by all) brass teacher would advocate for a brass tutorial because it was 'boring as shit' when the saxophones stuffed up so much.

IN YEAR NINE I GOT A BACH TR200 it was amazing. My mother actually liked the trumpet by then, apart from when I practiced the scales (the number of times I played Dos Gardienias just to please my mother is embarrassing). My sudden appreciation for live jazz music fueled my mother's interest in jazz (What are you talking about Elizabeth? I've been listening to PBS on Saturday mornings for years, I'm going to subscribe this year...) and we've been to about twenty Cat Empire concerts since (how Melbourne of us). Ros Irwin gave us a tutorial once, subsquently my mother told everyone she knew. We played at Dizzy's before it moved, we went to Mount Gambia Jazz Festival and saw James Morrison play, and IT WAS ALL GOOD FUN. My high-school music teacher's husband was in the Navy Band and so we had their band came to the 'Big Band Night' and MY DAD EVEN STAYED FOR THE WHOLE THING (OMG).

Year 12: The trombone player and I were Co-Captains of the Stage Band. This involved ocassionally deciding which pieces we were to play at various performances and more often finding band members that were trying to wag lunchtime rehearsals. We got a badge on our blazer! And music colours! The stuck-up boys at Brighton Grammar totally envied how laid-back and awesome we were. We got to play Birdland and Norah Jones covers and WE HAD A SINGER AND THEY DIDN'T and we were just so much more awesome in so many ways. I was sad to see my school-band life goodbye, but it wasn't the end of the world...my music teacher and I are now Facebook friends and she's created a Facebook group for us all. She posts highly entertaining status updates for a woman in her early 40's, too including: "feeling fantastic after 40 vodkas"...gotta love having ex-teachers on Facebook.

Five years later: Haven't played much trumpet since. There was a brief flirtation with an RMIT band in First Year, Second Semester, but it was a long way into the city and we didn't play much. Plus, it was mainly mature-aged students and then me. I FEEL SO SAD THAT I DON'T PLAY THE TRUMPET ANYMORE. The case is still in the corner of my room.

I mean come on.

This is just fucking ridiculous.

Baillieu you're a dick. Metlink are a pack of cunts.

picture & youtube post.

I've been taking out my camera a lil' to take a few pictures, mostly for the benefit of tumblr. But anyway, a few are worth putting here.

1. The Apple & Walnut Scroll. Love of my life, I swear.


2. The collection of books I've hoarded & yet to read. There's 19 books in total:



3. Another Big W complaint: "I hate it when customers put their debit/credit/other card in their mouth, and then proceed to hand it to you to swipe the EFTPOS machine. I’m gonna go all Summer Roberts and say: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. No wonder I’ve got sick more than ever in the last four years I’ve been a checkout chick."

4. Q-Tip "The Renaissance" is my new favourite chilled R & B/"jazz rap" cd. I've been a few of A Tribe Called Quest for years, so why has it taken me ages to get into Q-Tip's solo stuff?(really on this cd as yet). Oh, and don't worry, I'm still quite attached to D'Angelo, he even features on track 11, yay!



5. Lessons in life from my Leadership in Social Work & Human Services course



Reference: Cashman, K. (2008), Leadership from the inside out: Becoming a leader for life, 2nd edn, Berrett-Koehler Publications, San Francisco…

***and by doing a google search, it seems that you too can read the chapter I read here

R.I.P pages on Facebook? Really?

What is the deal with these teenagers that create 'R.I.P _______' pages on Facebook? Having worked with a number of kids that are barely out of highschool, a number of these pages have popped up in my newsfeed. Only out of boredom, I've clicked on the link only to find that the page has gained over 200 fans in fifteen minutes. If you're bored enough to read the wall posts (I am), it just gets scarier:

"OMG! I neva new u but I think u were in my sisters year level or sumthing? this is so sad. Hope ur family is alright'.

Oh, and if you're really popular, you even have multiple R.I.P pages!!!

It kind of sickens me. I mean, I wouldn't want anyone to make a page like that for me if I died. It's completely inappropriate, and just seems, I don't know, insensitive? Is it because it's easier to log onto facebook than it is to lodge a notice with the Herald Sun? (I'm being judgemental: the demographic of people who create these pages surely don't read The Age). I don't really have an argument as for why these pages are inappropriate - there's LOTS of inappropriate pages on Facebook - but the people who create these pages seem to have forgotten that once something's on the Internet, it stays there. Forever. Another girl I'm friends on Facebook with updated her status on with 'R.I.P ___' (it was her mother) and I although I wouldn't do this myself, I wasn't offended by it. I guess it's a quick way of telling everyone you know without having to go through the pain of telling sort of friends/acquaintances that someone close to you died. So that's ok by me, except of course a number of people (family members, close friends of the person who has passed etc) would of course be told in person or at least via phone.

But people even liked this status update!!! And wrote 'omg what happened' and expected the girl to answer, over Facebook! If one of my close friend's relatives died, I would send them a text-message & then a card. Flowers & visits etc depending on how close the friend was etc. I wouldn't send them a Facebook message! If a close relative of mine died I imagine I would be so distraught I would do nothing but lie in bed listening to my iPod all day (then again I'm fairly addicted to social networking websites so I probably shouldn't speak so soon).

All that being said, I wouldn't mind if someone changed my status to 'is dead'...but given that I don't leave myself logged onto facebook anywhere, even on my personal laptop, I doubt that would happen. Actually, Facebook needs to create something for when someone DOES die on Facebook, so that their Facebook page can be deleted if/when no-one has access to their password and such. Surely it must cause pain for some people, just seeing it there.

Anyone want to write an email to Mark Zuckerberg for me? I've exhausted my complaints email abilities enough for one day :(

Good things and bad things, again.

***One of those posts where it's really just a list because I haven't got anything to write about but feel I've been neglecting the blog.

Good things:

- I finally learned how to take Screen Shots!!!! This is big news. I've only spent like two years wondering how to do this. Turns out, the snipping tool is shit and doesn't work, so the print screen button + Function is the way to go.

- MF Doom. Hell yes.

- Gabrielle on Secret Life of Us: "I think was a little bit hungover when She created men"

- Secret Life of Us making me feel nostaglic for the songs I used to love back in the day - I'm up to Season 3 at the moment, and there's this scene where the girls (Gab, George, Kel and Chloe) dance at Fu bar to Paul Mac - Just The Thing. It's such a perfect scene/song.



- Online deliveries

- New clothes = feeling HOT.

- Murphy got a haircut! My baby (my dog) has lost perhaps half his body weight in the process, but OMG he's so adorable...

Bad things:

- The fact that I relate to this post on thoughtcatalog so much. It's not cool to like thoughtcatalog (at least, it's not cool on tumblr) but every so often there's a really cool post I really like. The guy who wrote this is a genuis and, by the sounds of it, has also lost the battle against Internet addiction.

- WAITING. Hello Monash, I still exist...

- Going up 1.5 pant sizes and feeling like a failure. NO MORE MUFFINS. Cry. Whinge. Find car keys. Go buy cupcakes instead.

- Having two social outings on one night and not being able to choose.

- Pepper in food.

- My room was clean for about a week and I felt organised and motivated. That week has passed.

- Mum commenting on my facebook posts, and then everyone else being too scared to comment so they send me text messages instead (Hi Mum!!!)

thoughts on the train

As soon as I've left the house I'm automatically feeling like a wannabe hipster. Vintage floral dress - tick (but it's from the Vero Moda range off asos), denim jacket - tick (I rarely leave the house with this jacket & I've had it since I was 14), brown boots - tick, naturally (crazy, with horrible growing-out-phase highlights) wavy hair - tick. All with the exception of my Chloe sunglasses, Olivia Palermo style. I'd almost take a photo except that I don't know how to use the self-timer on my digital (read: not old-fashioned and funky) camera and I feel a bit myspace taking photo's of myself. (For the record, I ran into two fashion-forward lovelies from my work on my way home who approved of my outfit.)

Also, I am listening to CocoRosie (on the Sandringham line!) (note to dear loyal friends who read this: CocoRosie fits into the 'freak folk' genre) and I haven't been on Facebook for two hours, so clearly I am winning at life. My hair is even more of a mess due to the wind, but I score extra points because I walked the whole 1.5k's to the train station instead of driving. I've shoved a green bag in my handbag for shopping, but I forgot my keepcup. I am wearing anklet socks under my boots (you can't see them), but I am wondering, is this 'the thing' to do? I am unsure. But I can't possibly just have bare feet underneath my boots. Too uncomfortable.

six hours later: Fuck I forgot about school times. Bloody children on the train. Spent a shitload of money on clothes I could probably live without, but thank god for having new jeans that will actually fit me! One does not need four pairs, but oh well. I deserve it. Yes to bargain cord shorts that have actually got me excited for spring. FUCK YES for new Stereolab & Grizzly Bear - Friend EP. Oh and another Murakami book that I probably won't get around to reading for two years or so. Yes for cheap takeaway coffee in Degraves street. Man I've missed the city :)

Dot-pointed life update

1. Yesterday I went out for breakfast to Sugo with my parents, my sister, her partner & their two girls - aged 6 and 4 (?). Perfect blond children. The cafe/restaurant was warm, my food was cold, the coffee was nice. My mother bought along some colouring books to entertain the girls, except the girls have an iPad so this wasn't necessary. Cannot get over the fact that a six-year old knows how to use an iPad and I don't.

2. This morning I went to a yoga class. I tried a little bit harder this time, but I'm very disenchanted with the fact that the class is mostly full of middle aged-women who are sooo much better at yoga than me.

3. After a conversation with friends on a (civilised, sober) Saturday night, I felt a little bit better about my facebook addiction & realised that I'm avoiding writing job applications/getting a 'real' job. It was an epiphany moment. I feel too young to have a real job, and I "should" travel but I'm too scared. At least we all could relate so at least I'm not alone. Says my law-student friend: "All I wanna do is watch Boston Legal and eat cake."

4. Making playlists for my mother to put on her iPod is hard work. Ever since she discovered I posses music by the Beatles & really liked the sound of Kings of Convenience I've been meaning to put some stuff on her computer for her. It's the least I can do, she is my mother. So far there's lots of Kings of Convenience/Whitest Boy Alive, downtempo stuff, Nightmares on Wax & Fat-Freddy's Drop, my collection of the Bamboos (my mother is obsessed with them), and I added D'Angelo just because I can.

5. Am really not enjoying Social Policy and it's only Week 1. Always at the start of semester that I romantise university & have dreams about doing essays past midnight in my dressing gown & ugg boots with never-ending cups of herbal tea. In this dream my room is spotlessly clean and the only windows open on my computer are Microsoft Word and fifteen Adobe Acrobat journal articles. Even though it's my tenth semester at uni, this has still yet to happen. What bothers me about Social Policy is that the reading so far is very theoretically, way over my head, and very depressing. I like case studies and memoirs and inspirational lecturer/s, not theoretical bullshit that I a) can't absorb and b) seems irrelevant to current times? I think i like the idea of studying social policy more than I actually like the (core) subject.

Confessing my love for Offspring

So there's this television show called Offspring on Channel 10 at the moment that pretty much everyone I know watches. It has consistently achieved top-ten ratings every week since it begun & my family & I have been watching it every week, recording the episodes on tIvo when we weren't home or were worried we'd fall asleep. I probably shouldn't admit here that I like such 'mainstream' television/a show that isn't HBO (!) but I do love Offspring. I liked it from the first ever episode, where Nina has trouble reverse parking & she ended up hitting a car (I'm sketchy with the details)...I was like, yup, I can relate to being absolutely bloody hopeless with reverse parking, I'm going to like this show!

I mean, you could be satisfied enough watching it solely for Dr. Chris (Don Hany), Patrick (hello!!!!) or the guy that used to play Jack in Neighbours. This has led to much debate regarding the whole Nina/Chris Havel/Patrick triangle; in the first season we were all in LOVE with Chris Havel, but now, well, Patrick is sooo much more gorgeous and Chris missed his chance and now he's come back and his hair is all wrong. One friend & I were sending numerous text-messages on the topic last week..."I want Patrick to kiss me like that"..."I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Nina for this betrayal"...and even "lol I'm in my trackies and ugg boots. Dreaming that he will love me however I look..Patrick loves me for me lol lol lolz"...oh and "that black suit and jacket is the sexiest thing a man has ever worn" (please note the text-message extracts are ones my friend sent me, so I can't take credit for their total-hilarz content)


It's worth watching for Asher Keddie & Kat Stewart's acting & Eddie Perfect's hilarious song compositions. However, I was informed the other day that both Nina (Asher Keddie) and Bille's wardrobes on the show were gaining lots of admirers. (The Nina Proudman fashion page on facebook has 4000+ followers at the time of typing) My mother seems to have the impression that I am totally in awe of Nina's wardrobe. My mother is in her 50s & despite being quite well-dressed for her age (I know she reads this, so I'm being nice but honest too), Nina's outfits are perhaps a little 'busy' for her taste. Me: I like colours, patterns, scarves...not so big on accessories but otherwise, yes, I do like Nina's wardrobe with the exception of jeans at a hospital. Also, I've noticed that Nina & I both tend to wear our denim jackets alot.

It should be no surprise then, that when (again with the assistance of my mother, being on holidays means we spend WAY too much time together) we were doing the wardrobe clean-out/Mum discovers all the hidden new clothes on my floordrobe and chairdrobe with the tags still on, we found ourselves labelling items of clothing to be 'Nina outfits' or 'Billie outfits.' Hahaha. And when I went out last night, I said to dear Mother "I'm wearing a really Nina outfit because I can't do up my jeans"...FUCK I LOVE OFFSPRING.

Meet my boyfriend, Murphy the dog!

Murphy came into my life the summer of 2003. Gradually I nursed him from 'baby Murphy' to 'Murphy' (Mum keeps telling me he was never a baby, he was a puppy - I tend to disagree). Despite the fact that he thinks he's a human & seems to think I'm his friend, not his owner/boss, I couldn't be happier with our relationship.

Apparently, dogs are like their human owners. My seven-year old Maltese poodle Murphy and I are similar in the following ways:

- We were both born in the first week of October

- we both like to be lazy and waste an afternoon sitting on the ducted heater

- We both probably have COPD (Chronic, Obstructive, Pulmonary, Disorder)…it’s a lung/bronchitis thing. Murphy baby has been coughing all the time & now has to wear a harness on his walks so he doesn’t choke himself when he runs ahead.

- We’re both scared of big dogs

- We’re both neurotic & obsessive & like to know where everyone is at any given time

…MY DOG IS THE LOVE OF MY LYF, Y’ALL

Holidays are so damn boring.

I swear, every hour I think to myself "God I'm bored."
I've been on unexpected holidays for two weeks so far - don't get me wrong, I dream of holidays generally just having more time to do things I've been meaning to do for years, however, all I have achieved thus far is:

- Importing 442 new songs into iTunes
- Backing up my 75+ gigabytes of music
- Online shopping: the Daria box set for $45, two new dresses last night...
- Sorted through all my university piles, chucked out about a folders worth
- Cleaned out the underwear & accessory draws
- Avoided cleaning out my shoes, bags and any other clother sections of my wardrobe
- Made more mess on the floordrobe
- Went out to a gig during the week!
- Taken advantage of having the house to myself & blasted a number of cds downstairs
- Got back into exercise, some days even power-walking 7.5kilometres! Attended two yoga classes. Deliberately slept in to avoid Body Pump classes.
- Nearly finished Season 2 of "the secret life of us"
- Had two weekends with lots of drinking, eating & fun times
- Then again I'm writing this blog post at 7:30am Sunday morning so obviously I've had a quiet one last night
- Saw the final Harry Potter movie!
- A number of coffee dates with friends :)
- Found plenty of new music to become in love with
- Finished maybe three books? But they were only 250 page books. Which doesn't help my hoarding 'issue' at all because I have also purchased two new books in this time.
- Become addicted to tumblr/the internet.

in short (oh the irony), I've done a lot of things that aren't very productive.

Why is it that everyone looks forward to their holidays, and yet the majority of my friends spend substantial time on facebook complaining about how bored they are, how much their parents are annoying them and how much they wanna move out? The holidays inevitably mean chores > BORING! Also, most Gen-Y kids (adults?) living at home like myself have no excuse not to participate in domestic duties like doing your own ironing, washing your work shirt, the dog poo, doing the dishes and making gravy for the weekly roast. Usually I do some of things anyway, but recently I have to stop myself saying "I don't have time". Ugh. My mother will love this post.

What can I say? I'm BORED. Actually, I need to do my homework. The Sunday paper will be here now so I have something to do. It's too cold and foggy to go for a walk just yet. I think I only posted this so I could feel accomplished and say I've posted in this blog today. Ugh. FML, seriously.

How to be the perfect Woolworths customer:

1. Bring your own pen. Do not, under any circumstances, expect that a checkout-chick will have a pen that actually works. Better yet, start living in the 21st century & get a pin for your credit card. As long as our eftpos machine is up & running (or there's no 'pin error' or 'system busy' message) this is the easiest method of payment.

2. Ask the checkout chick (or boy) "How are you?" Sometimes we forget. It's rude and lazy of us, yes, but very rarely do we deliberately not ask "how are you?" (only when it's a regular customer who we know is incapable of stopping talking & therefore holding up the queue). If you engage us, we'll be nicer to you. Or at least fake a smile. The same applies to "have a nice day"

3. Take your coat hangers off. Obviously this only applies when you are purchasing clothing. There is nothing worse than a customer that rocks up with a trolley full of discounted kid's clothes (that we have to enter manually, FML but that's another story), all with hangers on (especially two-sets or underwear, no we're not embarrassed it's just so fucking fiddley), and yet has absolutely zero comprehension for how long it will take to get the hangers off. These customers are too busy playing words-with-friends on their iPhones to notice how long it's taken. FUCK YOU!!!

4. Wear deodorant. This is pretty self-explanatory. A shopping centre is packed enough & with Westfield & department store cost-cutting, often in summer air conditioners are left off. This means that the smell is FUCKING PUTRID. Do us a favour and at least smell okay, or not smell. Thanks, much appreciated.

5. Wash your hands. Another downfall of being a check-out chick is how disgusting and dirty you feel after a shift. One's hands have touched possibly hundreds of other sets of hands; hands that have just eaten greasy Macdonalds, hands come straight from work at the mechanics with oil all over them, hands that have just wiped nappies, hands that have just felt up body parts in the privacy of Big W photo lab...WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. And we haven't even discussed money-handling & where the cash has really come from. Checkout chicks get sick and die from exposure to this shit. Be responsible!

6. Don't have a tantrum when we've run out of plastic bags. Honestly, you have the entire bottom of your pram to put your nappies, whaddya need a plastic bag for? GREEN BAGS WERE INVENTED FOR A REASON. I've spent too much time already complaining about plastic bag use on this blog...

7. It is not cute when your "unexpected item in the bagging area" is your 30kg child. It's just annoying. If you have primary school aged children, DO NOT go through self-serve.

8. Pack your own bags. Don't suck up and smile to us, then walk five metres away and re-pack your entire bag.

9. Offer for us to expect your backpack/suitcase. I'm always astounded by the amount of shit people seem to think is necessary to carry around with them in a shopping centre. Often you customers can look quite sketchy (and I know it's bad to judge, but) and we're a bit shy too ask you to let us look inside your bag, so we probably decide that we can't be fucked/are terrified of you pulling out a knife or something. It makes our job so much easier if you offer.

10. Don't threaten to kill us!!! This has actually happened. If we don't let you return something, move on. Pick on someone your own size. Ring up Head Office if it makes you feel better (i.e, scream at a telephone, not a person). Don't question my authority because I'm a female. You realise you've just embarassed yourself in the company of hundreds of people? And we might win a $20 voucher from a store manager from having to deal with you? Ugh.

Enough said.

a few things i have learned:

1. In my last post I referred to the fact that not having easy access to a mirror in my handbag was a problem. Today, I realised that the bathrooms at my fieldwork agency don't have mirrors. I have two really bad blind pimples at the moment and I was actually DYING all because I couldn't re-apply concealer or squeeze. When I finished work & got into my car, wow, I spent like ten minutes being vain and squeezing pimples. I'm totes glamorous.

2. I'm really bad at explaining anything.

3. I'm exceptionally incompetent at using parking money machines. As in, the boom gate ones you have to put money in before you leave. Having to reverse because I mis-aimed the machine/required length of my arm needed to reach down and place the money in, or even stepping out of the car (note to self: remember to switch handbrake from "drive" to "park" first) is really embarrassing when you're holding up five doctors in their BMW's behind you.

4. Don't eat sultanas and force other staff members who are unlucky enough to in the office at the same time to put up with the smell of your subsequent flatulence.

5. The incompetence of drivers on Glenhuntly Road is PHENOMENAL. It is NOT acceptable to (repetitively) perform three-point turns into peak-hour traffic, people!!!

i'm bored.

A mix I made for a friend and subsequently learnt how to use megaupload for:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KF72UHS9 (copy the link into browser, follow the link, download)

for all of my good friends who read this and are bored.

just another saturday night at home on my computer :)

Fun facts of my week; or basically just my observations on the Sandringham line train/landmarks around Prahan station and Greville street.

1. The American hip hop/"indie" band Why have an album called Alopecia. BUT I was reading an article the other day, I think it was in Vogue at the x-ray place or something, and Alopecia is also the name for a medical condition relating to loss of hair or baldness. I wonder if Why knew this? I'm sure they did. I don't get it.

2. The same people get the same train every single weekday for YEARS. It didn't quite hit me until one day this week when I got the train to work placement. I haven't got the train in peak hour for about two years yet I recognized everyone except the school kids. Wow.

3. Also on the train, WHAT IS WITH this trend of rolling down knee-high socks? I mean, it was fucking five degrees. We used to hitch the skirts up, but we were at least sensible enough to wear tights. These teenage girls were wearing school shirts with pink bra's underneath (no jumper, wtf?), eating tee-vee snacks, with bare legs. At 7:45am in the morning. OMFG.

4. It's really really snobby, but I really got off on the fact that I'm 99% sure I was the only person on this train to be listening to Bibio, or follow Flashlight Tag on tumblr.

5. Getting the train has made me realise my reliance on the mirror in my car. The driver's side flap with mirror has become a necessity for touching up my concealer at red lights. I can't believe I've turned into one of 'those' people. I need to invest in a compact mirror for my handbag.

6. My morning trip on public transport to work placement meant I a) had no-one idea where I had to walk (Prahan station: label your fucking streets) and b) hence arrived forty minutes early. I decided to go for a mini-walk around the block, which meant all around Wesley college & the Victorian College of the Deaf before reaching what I think was St.Kilda road/street. Wesley college security staff kept looking at me funny, clearly I wasnt a sibling or a parent, but perhaps they were too embarrassed to ask me if I was lost. Probably blasting CL Sosa didn't work in my favour. However, WHY was this (see photo below) advertising car parked in the driveway of Victorian College for the Deaf?



OH YES, LET'S "IGNITE THE SPARK"

7. Anyway I actually have an excuse have an for being home on a Saturday night because I went to the doctor on Thursday night and apparently I have bronchitis. I took a day off yesterday to have a blood test and an x-ray and sleep and sit in bed and watch the Secret Life of Us. Boo!!! But, as I sent in a text-message to someone this morning, I LOVE DRUGS (calm down, I was referring to anti-histamines, even though according to my mother they haven't been working because I insist on cutting them up and they're supposed to be swallowed whole, but I can't swallow tablets). Oh well. They might be placebos anyway, ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL PEEPS

Secret Life, shower, read & blast with my new in-ear earphones that keep falling out of my ears, sleep. NA NIGHT xxxxxxxxxx

women of SOUL.

Last night I went to Women of Soul night at the Toff in Town. It's pretty much the only respectable but semi-alternative (not really, but for my house-music-nightclub loving friends, it is) place I'm game enough to take my friends.
Really enjoyed it! Oh, and our table of four enjoyed it too. Actually we probably gave the impression of being party poopers as we didn't drink (driving), didn't get up & salsa & didn't really move in general. HOWEVER One friend even bought a cd...so my reputation for 'weird music things Liz always wants to go to' has perhaps increased a little. I love: Lord of the Fries, being able to wear a coat and tights instead of a tiny dress & live music. I don't like: the cold!!! And being a p plater. Oh, and to the cute New Zealand guys who we striked up a conversation with at Flinders -apparently I'm weird because I don't have sauce on my beloved Lord of the Fries - you kids are cute, but you're not gonna impress girls by telling them you work as door-knockers for a gas company. Crowd: we were the youngest there? Possibly? Haha, actually my mother jokingly asked if she could come & I said no...in truth, lots of middle-aged people there? And they were WAY more lively than us. My comment: "I wish we were 20 years older so I wasn't too embarrassed to get up and dance." Oh, and I noticed that after she performed, Chelsea Wilson went and sat on (presumably) her grandfather's knee; aaaaawwww!

Otherwise I'm actually kinda too busy for the Internet right now because I've started my social work placement which means I have no time for ANYTHING. I'm enjoying it though...the downsides are: I'm bad at going five hours without food, and concentrating all day/not procrastinating/having no more than 30 minutes to procrastinate per working day. Soooo not used to this! I feel very much well looked-after though: I got a free taxi ride to & from my student seminar because 'na, we're not letting you get the tram, it's freezing...the hospital pays for it, so the government feels for it, don't feel bad'...WIN. Also, I sat in the front seat in said taxi...did I mention I got a maxi taxi all to myself on the way home? And I sat in front BOTH times? Wow I am cool. Although the maxi-taxi driver freaked me out cos' he was a) not Indian and b) too friendly. Not to be racist, but I love it when Indian people swear; sooooo funny!!! Note to taxi drivers: I don't wanna know how pissed off you are because you missed out on a $200 job, or how tired you are...I don't need you to pull out all your receipts for the day, know where you grew up, the intricate details of every customer you've had today, where you used to go to school...all this in fifteen minutes? Why do I have a knack for finding weirdos who proceed to tell me all their life stories? is it because I'm one of them?

ANYWAY I probs should get a move on with this assignment. I need to a) have a shower & b) relax. Feel sick, too much food, team meetings: excessive abundance of food. And because I'm the student I am 'shadowing' (following like a puppy dog) anyone who'll have me & hence sit in meetings. Since when did Kettle make grain-wave looking things? Am I that much of a food addict that I eat sour cream & chive-flavoured grain waves, which I don't even like?

I have written waay too much. It's too cold for study. I should clean up my desk/room/life first. I've been saying this for two years, ugh :(

Cat Power, whiteheads, clothes & apple strudel scones

I've found a new Cat Power song to be obsessed with.



Placement tomorrow! Buying new outfits because my current rotation of social-work esque skirts are mostly summery, and it's absolutely fucking freezing yet I can't wear jeans/(don't fit in to them anyway) and I'm unsure of the length of a few of my other skirts. Now I've left today's purchase - a winter dress that I'm planning on wearing - in the boot of my car (everything stays in the boot of my car, especially when I've been binge spending...I drag it out of the boot sporadically). Which is great, because I had to park further down the street and now it's raining. Fantastic.

Still coughing! Can't pretend I'm not enjoying being sick/staying up & watching the Secret Life of Us/blasting my iPod. Last night: in bed by 10:30, blasting Jaylib in my underwear, sending messages. Actually was extremely social, and all from the comfort of my bedroom. I wish about 20% of my facebook friend's list would stop complaining about their equity exam though. I mean, they all CHOSE to do law.

On the facebook front, I've made a new rule for myself: I'm only allowed on facebook once a day, for a MAXIMUM of 30 minutes. Depending on how much I've missed out on. I'm being really good, I have to mentally stop myself from automatically typing in facebook when I open Internet Explorer...but it's working. And I'm no longer bored enough to read the comments of every facebook status of people I went to primary/high school with that I wouldn't even say "Hi" to down the street. It's a new lease on life. Perhaps it's bad that I'm finding a tv showed based around made-up characters more entertaining than real-life stories...but meh. I'm learning how to be productive. Sorta. I'm spending too much time on lastfm and tumblr instead, but don't tell anyone.

Next up: almost freedom! I'm 650 words away from having a life - after hours, anyway. I'm going out 3, possibly 4, not including Saturday nights this week...how the fuck do I finish my essay? I was kinda planning on watching tv tonight...the downer is that I have this MASSIVE pimple (?)/whitehead on my lip. It needs to pop. I can't not pop it. It might be a coldsore. I have never had a coldsore/pimple/whitehead on my lip on this part of my face in all my almost 23 years. I am so self-conscious. This is so unfair. It has basically ruined my week.

Oh, and in addition to a new Cat Power song to fall in love with I've found a new food to fall in love with. Friends/my mother who read this: apple & walnut scrolls from baker's delight (with icing, NOT icing sugar) will always be number one but Baker's have started making apple strudel scones and these are bloody amazing. Wow.

Anyway, shower, dinner, assignment (?), Secret Life of Us, private iPod party, sleep. na night & good luck to all my friends reading this who NEED TO GET THE FUCK OFF FACEBOOK AND STUDY FOR THEIR EXAMS!!! (Guys, I can track how many page views I get...it's gone up...)

things that are on my mind

1. On a bit of a mix-tape phase.

Me: You realise my definition of 'alternative' is like, really weird stuff, and not, like, Karnivool?

Friend from work: That's okay, I might learn something

(fuck yeah this has actually never happened before, jk lolz haha)

2. My facebook status this morning:

Am I going to get in trouble from the government because I swear (a fair bit) in my blog? Shit

3. At the dentist this morning. Dentist & his assistant are poking three silver stick-things in my mouth:

Dentist: "So I'm trying to turn what is actually quite a mundane activity into quite an exciting activity"
Assistant: right...
Me: (thumbs up)!!!!

(then proceed to cough all over dentist & the assistant)

4. In other news, I can't decide whether I love Chan Marshall or Lauryn Hill more.

5. Evan from the Secret Life of Us is so much like Sid from Skins. It's like, Sid grows up to become Evan.

Oh, only 1025 words till I'm DONE with semester one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck yeah music nerds is actually the story of my life

this tumblr account pretty much sums me up:





I couldn't help myself. In other news, I've been awake since 3am coughing & now it's nearly 9:45am & I don't have work till 6. I've already reached my word target on my essay! Before 10am! This is something which has actually never happened before. I'mma gonna go downstairs and blast cds while I have the house to myself and read The Age and books & then I'll go for a walk & watch the Secret Life of Us before I leave to go to work early so I can go shopping. Again. Woooooooo

oh yeah, and listen to this. It's soooooo good. This is why I never go back to sleep when I wake up too early.

I've had a brilliant day

by...

1. eating entire packets of (brown and multigrain) (!!!!!) rice biscuits

2. Browsing about 50 different tumblr blogs of Melbourne artists & downloading all the links they upload of their favourite songs.

3. Feeling inadequate because I suck at making links, I don't have a lastfm account (made one today! Wow, the things I do when I'm 'studying'), I'm not creative, my hair isn't long, my roots are gonna take absolutley fucking ages to grow out, I don't know enough cool music, I will never have the time to listen to everything I've downloaded anyway, I don't live in Collingwood/am waaay too comfortable with living off my parents, will never have enough willpower to turn down processed food, have already used up my credit card limit so can't download anything new off bandcamp, am too lazy to browse through 55,000 new clothes on etsy...oh well. I do, at least, have a keepcup for when I buy take-away coffee?

4. Spending 45 minutes trying to open the packaging for my new Megastick Fanfare cd that came in the mail - until I found the scissors (fail)

5. Restarting my computer fifteen billion times & re-naming my essays to: 'SWM5421: Assignment 2 (Autosaved)'

6. Listening to my old Aloha cd.

7. Actually going for a walk! And not being waaaay too cold in 3/4 leggings.

8. Wearing my tracksuit pants the wrong-way-round, and not realising for three hours.

9. Yelling at my Dad - he dared to eat the last Berry Bliss flavoured yoghurt!!! I am extremely pissed off. I swear to GOD it was the last Ski D'Light Berry Bliss flavoured yoghurt in the whole of Melbourne. I forced myself to have the strawberry last night because I wanted to save the Berry for tonight (best till last, you know), and now its GONE. Devastated. Dad thought his was hilarious :(

10. If you haven't guessed, avoiding my assignment. Ignorance can be bliss.

the perks of being a wallflower

OMG. I just found out (via celebritygossip.net, don't judge me) that there's a movie being made about the book 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' (I'd read this book not long before I started this blog). I am so excited because

1. Admittedly it's been ages since I read the book & I can't really remember it. All I do remember is reading it in one sitting in the RMIT City library one evening & really, really enjoying it.

2. Emma Watson (from the Harry Potter series) is in it!!! Wow.

3. It's being directed or whatever by Stephen Chbosky, who wrote the book. So at least it's not gonna get totally ruined.

4. Obviously all the book & music references in the novel, will they come to life?

yeah yeah I'm procrastinating BYE

essay stalling

My community engagement essay/report is coming along reasonably well considering it's not even 2pm, I woke up at 9 (2 hours later than usual) and I've already had breakfast and lunch. 800ish words so far today, SO PRODUCTIVE! This might be to do with the fact it's basically a pretty easy descriptive sort-of report & I haven't added any references yet, but I'm feeling productive & if I finish this shit before 8:30pm I will literally be bursting with joy. Not that there's anything on tv, not that I don't have another 4000 words of another essay to write or a house to clean before my parents return from overseas tomorrow (shit) but I can sit in my happiness and be happy, right? Also, the Hills is absolutely fucking hilarious and never fails to make me feel good about myself. The City is basically the Hills with better clothes except model Ally makes me feel even fatter & also makes me nostalgic for the days when I had Whitney Port-esque legs. I should be forbidden from entering the junk food aisle of supermarkets.

Anyway, I thought I'd procrastinate some more by sharing some of those 'I wish songs played in epic moments of my life and not just in movies' moments for me in the last few days:

Driving to uni on a cold, wet, grey & miserable Thursday morning:

http://youtu.be/-CviqQkJ1Q0

To work on Thursday arvo, repeat as above but in a happier mood:


Friday:

Um, so originally I went youtube cruisin' to find Lady Gaga - Born this Way and found this:



*brought tears to my eyes. How embarrassing. How old is this kid? Jeez. So cute! The facial expressions get me every time!

[I've now watched about 5 of this girl Maria's video's and she's not THAT cute, she wasn't very good at 'Pokerface' or 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)' but still so adorable I hope she wins the MTV award she's up for!!!)

Friday night:




& my new favourite song (Track 4, I suck at links):



(I've wasted too much time to justify spending time copy/pasting links to share songs now. Happy Study Sunday to all my friends that read this, STOP PROCRASTINATING RIGHT NOW hahaha love xx)

1. It amazes me how I've managed to not write one word for 4 hours. Meanwhile, I think I can do another 400 by the end of tonight, as well as ABC tv, cooking dinner, shower, and Winners & Losers.

2. One thing I've been meaning to do in my procrastination is back up all my music again. I usually avoid doing this because it takes HOURS (literally), and the external hard-drive I've got needs a power-point, and because it's a dodgy cheap American-made one the charger is huge to the extent I can't fit in my laptop power-cord in the wall at the same time, so my laptop usually runs out of battery while I back up. Seeing as I've only got about 30gig left on my laptop hard-drive I'm panicking, I need to delete the multiple copies of things I've saved on my laptop so I have more space (I have an intensly rigid method of downloading music: downloaded music folder > iTunes (I convert files) so therefore have 2 copies > when can be fucked, copy downloaded copy to external hard-drive and delete downloaded copy off laptop hard-drive)

3. Also, repeat process with downloaded tv shows/movies. And then with photos. Current seasons are kept on laptop hard-drive, old seasons are usually not. If I'm particularly attached to a tv show I'll end up buying the real dvd version anyway. And it's not like I'll ever get around to actually watching it all.

4. Kettle chips are amazing. Really. I was growing tired of them, because they changed their packaging and became less fatty so they could compete with Red Rock Deli Chips but OMG they have gone back to being fatty again so they taste better. I've eaten more than 4 of the 'recommended serving size' portions of them today. Whoops. But the rest of my diet is really really healthy so its okay?

5. I hate washing machines and ironing.
6. I LOVE ducted heaters probably more than I love Kettle Chips.
7. I have waay too many electronic gadget chargers in my life.
8. Cold. So. Fucking. Cold.
9. My passport photo is ugly.
10. Only 1 hour until my music's backed up!!!

still incapable of writing paragraphs; still writing lists

1. I honestly don't think I'll get any homework done today. I fell asleep roughly 3:20am this morning & woke up at 7:45am. I can't shake the early-morning wake-up. It sucks. I feel like a zombie.
2. Being woken up at 7:16am via a text-message which meant I was late & had to be ready to walk out the door is something i never, ever want to have to deal with again. Why oh why did I turn off my alarm at 6am because it was too early when I really needed to be up? Feel so so guilty, I NEVER sleep in, I'm ALWAYS the one waiting for people, not the other-way-round.
3. Wooooooo for not being at work the day before Mother's Day.
4. Woooooo for fundraising for Caring & Living As Neighbours (CLAN) Raised a shitload of money, yaaay
5. Boo for being absolutely freezing cold the whole day, shivering, goosebumps, wobbly knees.
6. Being a p-plater and staying sober is no fun. On the other hand, sipping other people's drinks DOES NOT COUNT (alcoholic drink count wise or calorie-wise).
7. Samboy chips were probably a much healthier option than Lord of the fries. HOWEVER I was thoroughly disappointed that the vending machine didn't have Kettle original or Kettle salt & vinegar. Who actually has chives & sour cream flavoured chips? Or sweet chilli & whatever. EEEWW.
8. I hate cleaning. I don't mind the dishes because the house is FREEZING and I like warming my hands & blasting cds downstairs but yeah, generally, I HATE ANYTHING DOMESTIC.
9. However I did manage to make some pretty-fucking-awesome looking cupcakes for the fundraiser yesterday. More on this in another post, but yeah, I was pretty proud of myself. This was Friday though & I still have bowls of icing in the fridge because I couldn't be fucked to wash up/I'd already done one sink of dishes/if I left them out on the bench we'd have ants/yeah.
10. Really need to lose about 5kg or grow a money tree so I can wear my jeans/buy new ones. Maybe I should just stop eating so much? FUCK.

okay I'm going to take a dump then go back to bed. It's too early for this shit.

stress, driving & soundcloud links.

The fact I'm listening to Cat Power & depressing guitar-based stuff reflects my mood. At least I haven't got to the 'let's explore my high-school cds' and pull out Brand New or TBS or something yet.

Cat Power-Moonshiner by torsten.veblen


My motivation is pretty poor, considering I've only done 1500/10, 500 words, which has to be finished by May 23. Uni is stressing me the FUCK out, omgz totes can't wait till its over, like, omg, fml (stress has made me forget how to use proper english). I'm distracting myself at every opportunity, sleeping badly, eating badly, rarely attending to my gorgeous dog, not bothering to shower every day or pick up my clothes off the floor, forgetting what day it is & doing too many things at once but achieving nothing. What's worse, I'm reading through the SAME reviews on music blogs & stalking the same people on facebook over and over because I'm going all out to procrastinate & am I in that much of a frenzy that I can't remember what I've done? That being said I have higher expectations of myself to fit things in (i.e., socialising)...I took the sensible option of being a designated driver so I wouldn't be hungover, but, by golly, I am the SHITTEST at directions in the dark. I thought I'd be okay. I'm ashamed of the fact 18-19 year olds are just so much more, well, competent at this shit compared to me. Not knowing where I am going makes me feel confident enough to do things I NEVER do in daylight or on my own - like drive through a library carpark, go through a stop sign & do a three point turn on a main road. Yeah, i set such a good example for the red-p-plater children I drive around.

On a higher note, a big Happy Birthday(!!!!!!!) to a dear my friend today. I know you read this & will know i'm referring to you, it's the 3rd of May woooooo. Haha. Yes. Moving on now.

I think I will go power-walking now to the New Weird Australia cd I downloaded off bandcamp. Till next time folks:

Teeth & Tongue - Walls by Teeth & Tongue

(see, I told you my latest music obsessions reflect my mood)

i like to name-drop & advertise more than the abc.

I LOVE the two-piece Kyu

1. Despite the fact that even though they're from Sydney, I can't pronounce/spell any of their song titles.

2. "Cyathea Amintae" brings me to tears. literally. (I had to copy the song title from soundcloud due to not being able to spell it). I was totally having a moment lying in bed last night, literally crying.

3. My friends would probs file them under the 'kooky weird music Liz listens to' category but I prefer the term fucking amazing. I'm totes gonna drag my friends to see them in some bar/warehouse/whatever in the Westside one day.

4. "Rain kisses me on the lips, kisses me all over...."

5. "I've got a bad case of deja-vu, with you. But you've got a bad case of existential woe, in you....I think, I think I think...." LOVE.


In other news, I really really wanna go to Sugarmountain festival :(

sunday of sorts

Writing blog posts on a sugar high is becoming a habit. I've eaten 300g of chocolate today. Okay, this time when I say I'm not eating sugar I REALLY MEAN IT.

So at about 2pm I decided I should probably get around to doing some homework...get sidetracked, watch more Prozac Nation (a movie about Elizabeth Wurtzel's life, it has Christina Ricci in it (she's awesome, I've loved her since Casper) as well as Jason Biggs (in a serious role!) and Jonathan Rhys Meyers who is GORGEOUS so yeah. She's a really fucked up character who goes crazy when she's trying to write papers for university, I thought it might motivate me to do the same...obviously didn't work. Although, it made me feel good when Lizzy (the character, not me) blasts music at 4am & her roommate gets pissed and in defence she yells 'music helps me concentrate'...SOMEONE GETS IT!

I had an epiphany & it occurred to me that perhaps I should do some uni readings, so to procrastinate further I thought it might be time to install the printer for our home computer on a network - a cd-rom that's been sitting on my desk for two weeks - so I can print stuff from my laptop directly & then start my readings. What a fucking waste of time, the printer didn't install properly due to not being found on the network or some shit. Mum then tells me we've changed the network password, argh. I FUCKING HATE COMPUTERS. Blast Splendora, try again, doesn't work, blast Splendora again, now I'm blasting Glee. Go figure.

So Mum cames in & in my angst I decide, what the hell, I'm angry, I may as well just finish off a substantial proportion of the chocolate I've hoarded. Mum walks in:

Mum: "what are you doing? Why is the computer on? TURN OFF THE SWITCHES its such a waste stop being lazy etc/to that effect
Me: Oh just binging on chocolate, I may as well. And i was trying to install the printer software, aren't you proud of me? I'm doing something constructive!
Mum: Have you eaten ALL that chocolate? AND a block
Me: (mum doesn't hear)It's only 100g, that's only HALF of a cadbury block
Mum: No wonder you feel sick.

Mum then proceeds to help herself to a few pieces of my Green & Blacks chocolate block.

Me: Hey, I paid good money for that! steady on (Mum had 3 of 30 pieces, I had 27...yeah I'm so generous
Mum: It doesn't hurt to share


In other news; THERE'S A LORD OF THE FRIES ON CHAPEL ST!!! I did not know this. Oh god, everyone reading this must think I'm such a fatty. I'm being healthy from now on I promise :(

2. I'm liking beer more than I used to, and shiraz is still my no.1
3. Note to self: eat dinner before you go out. Perhaps not the Gourlay family roast, but something more than 2 fetta olives
4. Faux Pas & Gold Panda are great to power-walk to! Totally killed my hangover! Electronic dancey experimental stuff (I think). Also, go to Faux Pas link because there's a free download & it's really cool.
5. My dog is the worst car passenger EVER. Omg, it takes so long to convince him to get in the car, he cries the whole time, ugh.
6. The walk of shame to Sandy station to pick up my car is never, ever enjoyable.
7. Am I really stupid enough to get the wrong train home? And pass three stops before I realise? God. It MUST'VE been an express.
8. Is it wrong to get a lift with a red p-plater? I'm older & therefore should do the honours? But I'm shit at directions?
9. & on that note, I'm gonna have a massive big party when I get off my P's. March 2012. ssssooooooooooo ffffaaaaaaarrrrrrrr awaaaaaaaaaaay.
10. Why hasn't anyone liked my facebook status yet? Surely people 'like' that I ate 300g of chocolate? I really need to get out more.

another ten songs.

Because I'm looking for ways to procrastinate that don't involve facebook and eating chocolate.

TOP FIVE (edit) TOP TEN:





Tune-Yards: Bizness. watch: here- VIDEO IS HILARIOUS




& download in mp3 form here:


Cyathea Amintae by kyusounds

FISHING - White Sheet Beach by ollie713







that's all folks!

i like to hoard junk food.

Why do I toture myself? At my dreaded place of work, we have cadbury blocks on special: 2 for $5 (but the weekly promotion ends today, for any of my Melbourne friends vowing to rush out & buy some tomorrow). I have purchased 2 blocks: 1 top deck & 1 rocky road, my two favourite. And, because I was in the 'let's spend money on junk food' mode I noticed that Greens & Blacks (the more sophisticated, socially-conscious brand of chocolate) 100g blocks were on special too, so of course I had to buy some, AND another Lindt rabbit. I've bought more Easter chocolate for myself than I have for other people (how embarassing, I'm 22 not 12). Perhaps I should make a note & work out how much money I actually spend on junk food from now until the end of the year. As I'm on this ridiculous 'no sugar' diet (basically no muffins & chocolate, a spoon of fake sugar in my porridge doesn't count) of course I can't eat them yet. However I will break this as a reward for finishing an essay or something like that. I also made an executive decision that if I drink a cocktail with sugar in it (ie Long Island iced tea) this also doesn't count. AND I'm allowed one Wizz Fizz lollipop per day to cure my cravings/get the taste of a cheese sandwich out of my mouth.

Also today I bought some Natural Confectionary lollies because you could buy 3 x
200g packs for $5, and they're normally $2.50 each. God I'm such a bogan....thank god I'm not one of those people who buy literally a whole trolley full of chocolate/lollies when on special (these people are usually ethnic/from overseas to take overseas/own a shop/stocking up for a child's birthday party). I am basically a chronic junk food hoarder. In other hoarding news, I have forbidden myself from buying more cd's until the 3 I've ordered online come (from 2 from ebay & a Melbourne independent record label so it'll be ages). This will probably last about 2days. I need the new TV On The Radio album now.

The point of this post really is to post about how much I'm struggling with NOT eating this junk food. The whole 'outta site, outta mind' thing is absolute bullshit. I spent my entire 3hour shift at work selling easter chocolate & picturing myself devouring an entire packet of Lindt Cookies & Cream eggs infront of the tv, and making lists of chocolate I simply HAD to buy when I finished work. Obsessed much? As for now, I've been home for 4.5hours and haven't touched any of it, it's in a cupboard but I could easily get it without getting off my chair...oh god. It's only 2.75 hours till dinner though & I am sufficiently full on a cheese sandwich, apple, milk and dangerous quantities of herbal tea. I shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about chocolate, I'm blogging about it for FUCKS SAKE. Fuck 3 hour shifts for ruining my morning tea too, after 1 hour I was DYING of hunger I cannot last 3 hours without food that is just cruel.

Anyway I should probably get back to reading journal articles. Tomorrow I will start essay one month in advance, maybe? I'm going downstairs to eat rice biscuits. Bye bye.

I had to let out some rage (take two).

1. When Westfield staff set the esculators the opposite direction that they normally do; i.e. the WRONG way. As someone who power-walks around a shopping centre in designated 15 minute breaks (so as to make the most of aforementioned break & spend the minimum time possible amongst fellow shoppers), anything that contributes to slowing me down and/or making me walk an extra distance inevitably pisses me off. Also, Westfield staff in general.

2. Parliament train station. There's these steps that are sooooo steep it's positively ridiculous. Parliament station reminds me of both the airport & the London underground, scaaary. I felt dizzy on these steps, I was puffing, I am so so unfit, ugh.

3. Frozen Bread. As we've only got three people living in our house & when don't always use the bread for lunch/eat at home, we freeze our bread. Which is fine if you freeze it when it's fresh, but when it's been in the freezer for more than a month...it's STALE. Gross.

4. Running in heels (self-explanatory).

5. Working on Sundays. Really? Really? Hate hate hate it, I need a homework day/day for a nap/to read the Sunday paper/to go on a long walk. I resent this being taken away from me.

6. My afro hair. I have extremely thick, somewhat colour-damaged, wavy hair. it's often dry and frizzy and so fucking annoying, even the 2nd day of washing it it hasn't relaxed & become magically moisturised like it usually does. If only it was less afro.

7. Earphones while I sleep! Every night when I go to sleep I listen to my iPod (I'm not cool enough for an iPhone) with earphones. I set it on the 60 minute sleep timer & I either fall asleep in the last 10 minutes or am re-setting it because it's one of those nights it takes me HOURS to get to sleep. Anyway, I roll over a lot in my sleep, and I wake up being STRANGLED by my earphones. I'm always scared I'll die in my sleep.

8. Children & teenagers should be banned from shopping centres

9. Pretentious Marketing students that pretend to be studio arts students and wear red lipstick, shorts with tights & patent high-heels - especially at 8:30am on Monday mornings.

10. Low-fat, low-salt savoy biscuits. Honestly, what's the point? Licking the salt off the 'good' side is the best bit about savoy biscuits. And people who are on a diet eat Vita-Grains or shit like that anyway.

11. Teenage boys who wear too much aftershave. OMG. I can't breathe.

12. Customers who call me any of the following: sweetie, sweetheart, honey-pie, "hun", babe, my actual name (it's creepy if you read my name-tag)...the list goes on.

13. Michelle Bridges.

14. When anti-histamines don't work.

15. That patch in my/your ugg boots that's worn through but the rest of the boots are amazingly soft so you have to put with it

16. It's FLY BYS not FLY BYE. Fly Bys vs. 'that orange card you get at Safeway.' Download the form off the internet, I can't be fucked to walk over & get one.

17. Not getting a car-park in my own street.

18. Having to drive to uni only for a 1.5hour lecture. Oh what a WASTE.

19. Radio stations that don't tune properly: for instance I have 2 devices which have radio in my room, one of them gets PBS (106.7), one of them doesn't...but they're only one metre apart? WTF?

20. Spending your whole day getting excited about an apple & walnut scroll, and then they only have coffee scrolls left at 5pm. FML, seriously.

the end.

what's on my mind?

things i can't post to facebook because nobody cares & I might piss people off & then they might delete me & I want to keep stalking them.

1. Spice Girls - Spice is the best all-girl group album ever. If U Can't Dance, Naked...omg

2. Writing blogs in my dressing gown on a Saturday night is becoming a habit. As is not doing my homework. As of Tuesday no essays for a while...thank fuck for that.

3. Yesterday afternoon I decided that I'd go on a no junk food & no coffee blitz for one week, starting 6pm Friday. HOWEVER this morning I was so tired so I amended the plan to no sugar: this way I can have coffee & wine. I can't remember the last time I felt this empty.

4. My work shoes (which are supposed to be black) are turning grey. But I don't know how to use the shoe-cleaner (I believe its called polish?)

5. GOK was at Southland today. I don't understand the appeal. I think he's some sort of fashion stylist similar to Carlson Cressley? Furthermore, what's with the screaming? Honestly, people are like dogs: one starts barking/screaming, they all start barking. But if you're working at a shopping centre and there's crying babies...really. Adult females, of all people, should know better.

6. It's nearly been 1.5 days since I last ate sugar!

7. Nobody should wear crop-tops when they're running on Beach Rd bike track. Unless you've got rock-hard abs & the crop top is made of VERY THICK MATERIAL. Some people needed to be reminded of this.

8. I wish I could construct a paragraph and stop typing in dot points.

9. I shouldn't drink tea so late, imma gonna need to go to the bathroom like 10 times tonight. FML.

10. Alanis Morissette - Not The Doctor (Jagged Little Pill). Nostalgia.

11. My new red metallic Sigg waterbottle is overwhelmingly sexy.

...okay I'm done.

new exciting discoveries/distractions!

1. Daria! I've finally finished downloading it. Also, I downloaded Splendora's only ever cd & decided they've become my new Sleater-Kinney. I love angry girl music, yeah. I also bought the only copy of their cd in 'like new' condition off ebay. Had quite a meltdown when I forgot my ebay password & I got the secret questions I'd set for myself wrong so I had to wait half a day before they'd let me try again & I was all in a panic that someone would buy it, but yes I got it! I'm a winner!



2. http://soundcloud.com/bluntinstrument/sets/remixes > go to Radiohead - Street Spirit (Fade Out). My lovely Canadian friend posted this on facebook a few days ago & I quite like it.

3. I can't stop listening to this:

4. Go Kevin!!! Poor bloke: Kevin on Q & A Monday night

5.

6. It's catchy, but I think I just like it because of the swearing.



7. Quite a lot of things/more than usual on the coming soon list at Polyester.

8. THE HILLS SEASON 6 IS OUT TOMORROW! (How embarassing, I have the whole thing now)

Okay I can't think of more than 8. Goodbye.

how i procrastinate

99.5% of the people I know are really really good procrastinators. But what does everyone actually DO when they procrastinate (other than facebook)?

What I've done:
- watched this:

(omg so American, how did I manage to sit through the whole thing? But she makes it look so easy when in reality it's probably really hard. I wish my fringe would hurry up and grow out so I can have long hair!)

- browsed etsy, topshop & asos
- RRR & PBS playlists. Breaking & Entering is up!
- Emailed one of my lecturers - is there any way my topic can be a little bit contained?
- Read everyone's status updates on facebook
- Tried on clothes I bought online
- Walked for 45 minutes
- Skimmed through today's age, read yesterday's age
- Continued to download Daria
- stalked a few people that I've never met & as much of their photo collections as possible.
- Looked at all the blogs/tumblr accounts I 'follow.' Also, download free music off music blogs.
- Had breakfast, morning tea, lunch & 2 cadbury mini eggs (like 5g each okay! They came with my Market HQ delivery!)
- Plugged my earphones into my laptop & blasted music for about half an hour
- Yeah that's about it. It's 10 past 2.

Homework/Study Wise:
- Read 3 journal articles/weekly readings
- Typed up a front page! And made a few headings!
- Read the article I'm critiquing many times
- read a few more articles I potentially considered
- Made more tea & went to the toilet a lot, yeah.


OH and something really funny happened today. I wrote up above that I got clothes online delivered. WELL I was out walking at the time & the guy left the Australia post delivery notice in our letterbox but because the guy knows me/recognizes me, he was driving down my street (I must've just missed him) and he got out of the car and gave them to me! Yay! But it is a bit sad that the registered post delivery guy knows you that well...

tada x


argh! I want to write 500 words by the end of today and not do homework after 9:30 and I want Mum to come home because she's bringing me coffee yay yay yay

tada

i had to let out some rage.

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

1. Customers that take fifteen minutes to find their Everyday Rewards card, when they've only spent $2.50. YOU DON'T GET ANY POINTS FOR <$30!!! EVEN IF YOU SPENT $30, WE DON'T GIVE OUT FUEL VOUCHERS FOR THAT ANYMORE! AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN REGISTERED WITH FREQUENT FLYER POINTS! SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED YOUR FUCKING EVERYDAY REWARDS CARD. Jeez.

2. Customers who want 'extra' plastic bags, or plastic bags for toliet paper. Even when they've got a trolley. Or giving someone 50 plastic bags because they didn't wanna buy them at Target/Aldi. Trust me, Safeway does not give a flying fuck if you bought it from us, or even if you stole it from them. Show them your receipt if you have to, but seriously, nobody's gonna ask cos' nobody cares. Have you even heard of climate change?

3. Anything to do with Justin Beiber.

4. Lecturer's that don't hyperlink reading lists for their weekly readings & declare the reference list for each weekly topic the reading list > hours spent trying to find readings, only to discover Monash Library doesn't have the journal in the one year you need. Example: Reading for Social Work Journal Vol.5, Number 2, 2004. University library stocks years 1978-2003, 2006 to current. On different databases. Fuck you Monash Library System!

5. The fact that Emily Haines never made a real cd out of the 'Cut In Half and Double' EP and I can't find it on ebay.

6. Spilling coffee on my laptop. Again.

7. Plastic surgery/people who have plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons only.

8. Homework. In general.

9. Being so stressed that you leave your coin purse at Baker's Delight. And bothering to pick it up in your break, only to discover that the damn shop closes at 7pm so you have to come back tomorrow. Better not steal my coins fuckers!!!

10. Being ready to hop into bed, only to realise you haven't made it yet. My Mum is MEAN.

11. People that block the right side of the esculator. Really.

12. Putting off buying petrol/forgetting you have none, and then having to pay $9239320932090923 for it.

13. Realising that your laptop probably/definitely has a serious virus, but continuing to hysterically back everything up & not downloading the latest virus software because it's too fucking slow/you can never remember which version you're supposed to download/it interferes with the 50596868689 other windows you have open and you're too busy to do that shit. Continuing to hope for the best but start to cry when computer freezes/Task Manager multplys itself like 10000000 times and you have to switch the thing off & say a prayer that your poor baby (a piece of metal) will be okay.

14. When online orders don't come on time, or the packaging is a little crushed.

15. Leaves/birdshit/cobwebs on my car (but being too lazy to clean them off)

16. When you download a whole movie off Vuze, and it ends up being in French, or the volume doesn't work.

17. The fact that Facebook STILL doesn't have a dislike button.

18. When you watch Winners & Losers on Channel 7 (8:30-9:30), and intend on watching Nurse Jackie & Californication from 9:30-10:45, but Winners & Losers ends up finishing at 9:50 so you miss pretty much all of Nurse Jackie. YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN CHANNEL 7.

19. Licorice. Gross.

20. Customers (that you don't even recognize) that remember your name even when you deliberately don't wear your name badge. Freaky. Go away.

1. I'm in a blasting Cat Power mood. So that's what I'm doing.
2. I think if iTunes was removed from my computer, and I got Mum to change my password to facebook (so I didn't know what it was), I would be able to do all my work in a day.
3. Screw homework; I bought Cosmopolitan Body magazine & also Russh. If I was a lesbian, I would want Jessica Stam as my lover.
4. Skinny magazine pictures do not motivate me to stop eating too much.
5. On that note, I MADE COOKIES! Well, Mum made them & I watched. Well, I did occassionally put sugar into the magimix & sift things & make little balls & stare at the oven for AGES. Anyway, some lovelies in my course are going to South Africa for their last social work placement, so they're having a cake stall to raise some money. We're contributing. I literally haven't baked in years. I hate it. It's too fucking hard! haha, I was constantly like "it's okay, that'll do" and Mum shot me down every time "It will NOT do Elizabeth, if you don't do it properly, it won't work out right." So tonight after Big Love I am spending time wrapping up biscuits in cellophane.
6. The people at Rebel Sport are mean.
7. Everyone should donate to Caring and Living As Neighbours (CLAN), the organisation my group is working with for our Community Engagement Project.
8. Music blogs should also be taken away from me
9. Sia's new stuff isn't great, but Healing Is Difficult and Colour The Small One, especially the former, are AMAZING.
10. I bought the new Radiohead & Britney Spears cd's at the same time. Absolute walking contradiction.
11. Need to stop fucking liking everything on facebook.
12. Walking around the house with the zip undone on my jeans is not attractive, and kind of embarrassing when my Dad comes home.
13. I hate being a hermit.
14. This is a filler, I'm trying to make it to 20.
15. I'm really pissed off I missed the Incoming show on RRR because I had to make cookies.
16. I've only used 3% of the download limit so far this month!!!! Omg, I LOVE having 50gig a month.
17. BUT, I've used 2/3rds of my phone cap & have 2.5 weeks to use $60. Fuck you, Optus, I was good at not spending money on my phone until you lured me in with your fucking cap plan.
18. Dinner's ready!!!! I officially give up at 18.
19. This is great:

DM167 by Albatross

20. This is also great:

Faithful (Common Cover) by The Townhouses

(yeah, I'm into all this shit now.

Etsy

I have a love hate relationship with Etsy. This morning I've been doing research for my assignment which inevitably means I've ended up on music blogs, celebrity gossip.net, etsy, topshop, asos, RRR & PBS tracklists and the abc website.

In short, I decided I wanted a 'funky' alternative looking coat, only to find some really strange (but really cool) one with purple flowers which actually displayed measurements so I can assume it would fit me, for only $15 + $7 postage only to discover the user doesn't ship to Australia. I refuse to believe this is a sign it's not meant to be.

Also, when I search for jackets and I figure that I may as well search men & women because heaps aren't classified, does it mean I have to view baby jackets as well? Some look so nice in the thumbnail sized pictures :(

AND I'm not going to buy a $300 knitted jumper from some random in Germany off Etsy. It's just not happening. Sorry.

Secondly, I want all this cool stuff now but THANK.GOD. I haven't payed my credit card bill yet cos' then I'd be buying it all, I've maxed it out (again) and it's due at the end of the month but I cbf going into the bank and paying it yet. Waaah. Also, my cd list is up to 19. Fuck.

On another note, I can finish 200g of chocolate in under minutes. This is disturbing and needs to be amended. Too much sugar, coffee or fat makes me shaky and I can't concentrate. Need to remind myself of this. Fuck # 2.

Because of the chocolate I have avoided the walk but I'd better do that soon, so at least I can say I've done something productive today.

Andras Fox - I Don't Wanna Go (Live Monome 002) by Andras Fox

So on Saturday night I dragged a (non-indie music aware, let alone fan) friend of mine along to see Brous and Pikelet at The Toff in Town. I wore my purple tights and ankle boots and felt relatively indie-looking, however of course as per usual I feel this way when I look in the mirror at home & then arrive and feel like a teeny-bopper. Even with my new fringe, which as of yesterday I have decided to never leave the house without it pinned up for at least the next six months (I won't write an essay on this, I'm too ashamed). However, on this note, my friend wore an outfit I was in admiration of. At her house:

Me: "I like what you're wearing, you look cool"
My friend: "I'm trying to look 'indie.' If I wear my CQ dress I'll get shot"

Later on:
My friend: There are so many hot indie guys here. Except, they sit in groups of 2-3 and don't talk to anyone. It's such a waste of hot people.

Text-message from my friend's awesome sister:
"...she must really like you if she's prepared to brave the indie music scene..."

My friend's response:"You can drag me anywhere where hot guys are, Liz"

haha, I LOVE this girl. She gets top points for sitting through the entire two hour show!!!


I really enjoyed the first act & I love Evelyn too but I think I prefer her cd-wise, if only because so many people treat the Toff like a bar & so lots of people talk. Pikelet weird music is best suited for my headphones at night where there is ZERO background noise. I think I actually scared the shit out of my friend: "this music's really kooky Liz'...she's right. I think I scared her when I went & stood up during 'Weakest Link' and 'Pillow Castles' and 'Swooping Buzzards.' Oh well.


Bad part of the night: I drove > didn't drink. lemon & lime & bitters, LAME. And, because I haven't had them for AGES and because I hardly ever go to the city/Chadstone to get some, I got Lord of the Fries. They were shit. Epically dissappointed. Didn't stop me eating the whole box (I wanted a cone, they gave me a box? I guess I can't complain) in under 20 minutes though. Bloody typical. My second dinner. I miss drinking. Damn assignments to hell. Social research?

Hmm. So i better go downstairs cos the 7:30 report is on. Monday night is educational tv night where I get to not feel guilty about not doing assignments YAY!!! TADA!!!!!!

baring my soul: admitting embarrassing obsessions & events

1. My mobile phone is epically fucked. I had it plugged into my phone-car-charger thingy today,

[and whilst now I'm at home & reading journal articles for uni(and blogging, and on facebook, and making playlists on iTunes...multi-tasker/procrastinator/very short attention span)]

and now the damn thing basically has two bars of battery but the bars keep looking like it's charging, keep going up & down...I haven't had it on charger for like 4 hours. Fantastic. Good one nokia.

2. Top 5 Pop songs I really like at the moment, which is really embarrassing for me to admit:
- On The Floor (Jennifer Loper ft. some rapper)
- Heads Will Roll/Thriller (Glee Cast) (amazing!)
- We R Who We R (Kesha) (I blame work placement)
- Pon De Replay (Rhianna) (I blame 'The Hills')
- Knock Em Out' (Lily Allen) (is it cool to like Lily Allen these days? Can she be cool in the Mike Skinner way? I'm unsure, but, yeah, this is fu-neeee)

[don't judge me. I'm listening to RRR right now because I am saaaaaaa indie, ya'll.

3. Need to get back in touch with current affairs? Aiming to watch the news, 7:30 Report & Australian Story tonight. AND, Julia Gillard's gonna be on Q & A. The million dollar question is, can I stay awake?

4. Need to not behave like a toddler when I get lost when driving. Fucking incompetent people who work/volunteer at Caulfield Racecourse. In short,

1. it was the Caravan show which meant I couldn't turn right into station street
2. I was forced to follow the queue of cars that were turning left on Kambrook Rd somewhere into 'Public Car Park'
3. Went under some random tunnel.
4. I've never parked my car on the grass before. Had to follow cars on a dirt road & follow directions given to me by old men wearing fluro hi-visibility polo's.
5. Parked my poor baby car a relatively safe distance away from other cars where I could get out.
6. Asked for help to get to 'Caulfield station'
7. Was told to 'walk' the same way I walked in
8. Get to the tunnel, am told I have to go & drive my car out, I can't walk anywhere, I'm trapped, everything is gated, FUCK.
9. Spend quite a while walking around trying to find my car. Sit in car, call a girl from uni & my mother. Scream at my mother because it's her job to come rescue me in situations like this. Explain that its impossible to walk to uni & that I'm trapped. Cry.
10. Sit & post on facebook as an attention-seeking exercise
11. Realise another car in the next row is leaving, then follow them out.
12. Get the fuck out of the caravan show.
13. Have no idea where I am, somewhere off Kambrook? Park in a sidestreet & follow gps. Am too scared to turn right a few times so go straight & eventually find South Road.
14. Am home before the lecture finishes. Eat chocolate to calm the fuck down.

Wow. That's a lot of steps.

I have written FAR too much.