'smile when you do push-ups, it makes it easier'

*this is the reason why, if I do (very occassionally) go to Body Pump, I go to the 8:15am Thursday morning class. Despite being a bit of a guy/physically intimidating (not really, but if I did a 1:1 personal training session, I would be), with tatoos & muscles etc, this instructor actually explains the moves & does proper stretches. I tried so much harder than I ever have before (I used 1.25kg weights instead of 1kg weights, go ahead, laugh) and it actually hurts. My back is...aaaaaaow, i want to lie down but I have work. FML. I've done 300 words of my assignment (only 800 to write by Tuesday, yay!) and I've walked and managed to drive around the carpark at the gym without hitting another car and/or killing anyone.

In other news, I have to go and pay my Optus bill at the post office but I really cbf but the post office will close before the time I get to work. I have nothing on for the weekend other than work (Thursday night, Friday night, all day Saturday?) and uni work and most likely a few episodes of Gossip Girl on my lappy. Probs finish Season 2 this weekend.

I also need to stop eating the lemon slice in the fridge leftover from the 80th. It's rock hard now, but whatevz. It's amazing but a little tooo buttery (seriously) and could do with a bit more lemon flavour. It turns out the white chocolate & rasberry one has been in the fridge all along & I couldn't find it...argh argh argh. Nevermind. I haven't had nearly enough to make myself sick. Hopefully Dad will finish it asap. Why is it so hard to not over-eat? If only I felt sick straight away instead of a few hours later.

It's so fucking cold. I'm going to sit in bed & read David Pelzer 'My Story' - I'm up to The Lost Boy and it's so intriguing but a little...gruesome and terrifying and I wonder why I enjoy reading stories that are so...unpleasant. It's not a nice sweet story that's gripping and enjoyable, put it that way.

I've been listening to lots of Portishead (Dummy, old) & Kings of Convenience (Declaration of Dependence, new) & Taking Back Sunday (New Again, new) lately & I've been using iPod shuffle at the gym and remembered this song:

til next time kids.

I never imagined I'd be on the library computers at uni, blogging. Especially at 8:35am. I've written a few notes down & did some research via a few websites for an upcoming project (uni-related) but mainly I've since bought myself a coffee scroll (and eaten it, GOD), looked at the RRR website, the latest media release regarding Australia's Federal election and skimmed the Monash University Placement morning. My hands are freezing and I need to wee. I have 51 minutes to kill before class, subtract about fifteen so I can buy a soy cap & walk to my class which is so.far.away. dammit. MUST go to the gym after uni; must remember to bring sunglasses when I go out during the day. I decided to bring the leftover cous cous from Sunday for lunch today because I really don't need to keep picking at it at odd hours during the day (I eat the wierdest foods at 8am in the morning) & now it will be officially gone by the end of the day. Same with the musk sticks, which I ate yesterday morning on the train and everyone looked at me funny.

Argh. I hate preparing for stuff & I really hate Wednesdays. I hope the person in the computer across from me can't hear my Tegan & Sara song on my iPod. Time to scam Monash Stalker Space. Big mistake not bringing something to read off the reading list. Really cbf reading a random pdf file off a computer screen.

I realise I've just been totally rambling for this post & I've minimised the blogger bar about fifteen times so its time to stop. Maybe I should do a wee now. Okay bye xx

voting is a bit like getting married

Not that I've ever been married, but, its when you finally get your ballot paper, that ridiculously long white one for the Senate & the pale-green coloured one (a colour I haven't seen since weekly newsletters in primary school) for the lower house, that you think, shit, do I really want (insert party here) to win? So, I voted. Most people who tell me they've read this blog know the political values I hold (some, but I'm vague in defining why/specific policies). Basically it's 10 past 11pm & I've been out for drinks with the girls and I really should've had a glass of something alcoholic because Tony Abbott is going to become prime minister and I can't cope. I still have that bottle of vodka from Year 12 sitting on my desk and I really need to drown my sorrows. Okay, so if our own prime minister doesn't believe in climate change ("the climate change argument is bullshit") then how the hell can I refuse to hand out excessive plastic bags to customers?

I'm home & I can't watch it on tv because I'll awake the parentals up, 774 radio here we come? But I'm really enjoying listening to by latest Kings of Convenience cd.

Oh my god. Quote ABC News Website:
"Gillard gives a nod to Tony Abbott, saying they have different world views but he's shown he's made of strong stuff".

Jesus. Australia's gone backwards. Now I want to move to America to have Obama as the president. Or some Swiss country. Princess Mary has the right idea.
I still can't believe this is happening. I've been re-assuring myself all week that, you know, it'll be okay (the Australian spirit) Tony won't actually win, more people hate Tony than they hate Julia, really, it'll be okay, he won't get in. At LEAST its a hung Parliament so they can't rule completley. Argh I can't think.

So for the rest of the week I have
- to get through an 80th at my house tomorrow (shit)
- to fit into my jeans nicely again (shit) (stop eating chocolate blocks, muffins & coffee scrolls, Elizabeth)
- to finish my 2000 word assignment on borderline personality disorder
- get on anti-depressants now that Abbott's running the show.

personality disorders & strawberry jam (animal collective)

As the title implies, anyone reading out of a mental health textbook & listening to an experimental/psychedelic pop band at 10am on a Monday morning is just, well, cool. ie, I am uber cool. Anyway. The more I read of personality disorders the more paranoid I am about having one, because in only one summary (2 pages, with 2 columns of writing in really small font per page) have I been able to think to myself 'no, that's definitely not me'). Although I don't have any type of erractic/impulsive behaviour (well, yes to impulsive but not really, not more than the average person I think), I WAS a really strange child. But lots of people are strange without having a disorder? I keep mentally thinking to myself, 'relax, you wouldn't be able to study, get a university degree, or function in general if you had some sort of personality disorder.' Is the fact that I'm questioning my mental health something that happens to everyone studying the topic? FUCK. Then again, most people who study psychology are fucked to begin with (I know people personality, and, as the saying goes). But I don't even study psychology & I have no desire to, so that's something.

I have to add though, last semester my skills tutor mentioned that we shouldn't read all the checklists for mental illness' like depression and apply them to ourselves, seeing as everyone pretty much admitted to doing that & decided we all had, well, at least some days where we'd fit the criteria for depression. Alternatively, are we all just over-diagnosing ourselves so that the psychologists in the world can make money? And the drug companies? For entertainment (crime/police tv shows)? ARGH. WHY is this shit so popular?

atm I'm trying to find somewhere where I can illegally download the Animal Collective dvd soundtrack; I love livejournal for its communities and random cd mixes made by people I'll never meet. I feel a bit inadequate though, because most of the bands I've never even heard of before which is why I like being with a group of friends who are, for the most part, teeny-boppers: I like feeling like I am the most 'alternative', even if I'm not.

In other news, I got a new phone on Saturday. it's a nokia and I'm suddenly on an Optus $29 plan & I've never been on a plan before, so its all a bit scary. And its a touch phone! Which actually doesn't piss me off as much as I thought, because, OMG IT HAS A KEYBOARD! I suck at technology though, it took me a while to work out it didn't have a sim card in it (it was in the Optus pack, not the nokia box, I presumed it was already installed). Anyway. Back to work.

celeb look-a-likes

Today I just noticed: Willa Holland (Agnes, Gossip Girl Season 2, OC, Caitlin Cooper) & Kaya Sc_____(Brazillan, can't spell) look really, really alike if you squint. In fact, if you stalk their respective facebook fan pages, when they were kids they looked even more alike (Kaya had lighter hair & browner skin more like Willa).

I wish I had a name like Willa. Argh. I'm on a sugar high and as of tomorrow I am oing to the gym and losing weight like hardcore I swear, I am so sick of eating so much shit and too much in general and fuck after looking at these two skinny girls I feel extremely inadequate argh fuck Elizabeth you really need to get a life or at least do your homework.

So:

My new favourite cover/mash up:

Radiohead/Zero 7 - Climing Up The Walls


On a side note, I am so amused that the ABC, on the 7:30 Report last week, used music from the Trainspotting soundtrack to accompany their review of political campaigning. It was funny cos Mum made the comment "Tony Abbott looks like he's on drugs" and of course Trainspotting is all about drug addicts.

I survived a weekend of essaying & going to Red Bennies & my extended Monday was spent watching dvds (I know, 2 x episodes of Gossip Girl & 3 of Modern Family is not productive) and driving to St.Kilda & back to visit one sister & now I'm having a shower, washing my hair & settling in for an evening of educational programming courtesy of ABC1.

the big w soundtrack

I'm hoping that by blogging/writing I will be inspired to do my assignment. I'm listening to lots of calm music; Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set, Explosions In The Sky & Cat Power, but it's not working. I'm BORED and I have to decide what to wear tomorrow night and get an online account & clean my room because it's impossible to walk in it. I want Mum to go out, to the gym or to do the groceries or something so I can quit pretending to do my homework & watch Gossip Girl, or Modern Family on the big tv downstairs.

In the last few weeks I've been paying a fair bit of attention to the songs that Big W radio play. I always complain about the terrible music, but it's really not that that bad. Highlights include:

- Jefferson Airplane: Somebody to Love
- Donna Summer: Hot Stuff
- Sia: I Go To Sleep
- Lily Allen: Oh My God (Kaiser Chief's cover)
- Rick Price: Walk Away Renee (memory flash: My Girl 2 Soundtrack!)
- George Michael: Amazing
- Joan Jett: I Love Rock & Roll
- The Beach Boys: Don't Worry Baby
- Tina Arena: Wasn't It Good
- Bright Eyes: Something off either Cassadaga or I'm Wide Away It's Morning. I think it was Four Winds but argh I only heard the first bit of the song and its really bugging me...just as well they have the same soundtrack on rotation for a week so I'm bound to work it out eventually.
- Interpol - Something off Antics or Turn On The Bright Lights. I'm dead certain it was old; it had the old feel.

ie, Nostalgia alert! I went home and pulled out My "My Girl 2" soundtrack & my old Interpol cds (fuck, how much can one love Turn On The Bright Lights? It's AMAZING.

But anyway. Just a little rant.
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