I'm still buzzing about the fact that I'm blogging on the computers at work placement. Oh yes, lots of fun. My extra reading/activities for Masters' students has been minimised & I'm sitting here with 2 other students, my handbag & notebook bag & on the other side, my gps, the gladwrap from my sandwich & my 2010 melways & my mobile phone. I am bored & I've already decided I'm leaving early because I wanna go walking and buy shit at the supermarket. This morning a friend & I travelled to Dandenong (I wasnt driving, thank god) to support a client in court & fuck it was a DISASTER. We didnt even realise we weren't on the highway until we saw a sign that said Emerald/Narre Warren and we thought shit, this isn't the way to Dandenong. For a trip that should've taken 15 minutes, it took an hour. Hilarious. Oh, and we missed our client's court appearance & so we went to Dairy Bell & got ice-cream (I had rocky road, but it seemed just like plain chocolate) and then went to Savers then walked around in circles trying to find the car. But, because some of the people we asked for directions werent exacly with it we struggled even with directions. My friend called her Mum & ended up hanging up on her because we apparently couldn't be helped if we didn't even know what road we were currently on. Fuck the gps, seriously. It dropped (or maybe I dropped it? hush) on the ground & then wanted us to go a different way to what we planned so we kept ignoring it but argh we fucked up in the first 100m so & it took us 10k's to realise we were lost. Most people reading this will think we're such losers but we were half stressed half pissing ourselves laughing. And our trip around Dandenong itself was not exacly fun either; a few people were threatening/yelling 'fuck you' etc etc so we had to walk the wrong way a few times. We went to Dairy Bell. So many potentially good bakeries.
Does this count as my reflective journal? I'm still deciding whether to go to the movies tonight because the movie is 'The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo' but I don't want to ruin the book as I'm intending on reading it when I've got through my current pile of books. And, I don't wanna go to the same shopping complex that I work at. I also wanna go for a walk & get home early so I can do this as well as go to the movies? Argh. funny.
Anyway........just got that out. Ta da :)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
on being a journal-whore
So I'm thoroughly excited about the fact that I have to do a reflective journal while I'm work placement. Many people hate doing reflective journals/journals in general. Of course everybody knows that journals are a therapeutic exercise, but I seem to feel as though everyone thinks journals are for 'losers' or in other words, introverted intellectual fucked-up freaks like me. I'm happy that blogs have become popular - but the emphasis seems to be on pictures, or cartoons revolving around bagging the shit out of the government of the day. Most bloggers seem to choose a topic or a theme or whatever, and not many just write about one's day & one's feelings etc etc.
The fact is, I'm a chronic diary writer. This begun in primary school after I watched the movie 'Harriet the Spy' with Michelle Tratchenberg
It got to the point where I was hiding plastic mirrors in my dressing gown pockets & running around the backyard with a journal, writing down notes like the fact that the old couple in the house next door to us were watching tv. I should not be admitting this in a journal I post publicly. Anyway. I LOVED this movie, I wonder if I've still got it on video somewhere?
And so I've written journals daily ever since, up to about three years ago. When I stopped it wasn't a conscious decision, I actually felt really really guilty about 'not writing' as I had previously obsessively made time to make sure I wrote at least one page a day. Even if it was just a paragraph. I guess I just let myself off for a few days because I got home late, and then it became a pattern, and I don't feel guilty anymore. Whenever I go through all my stuff/shit I realise that I have so, so many boxes of journals scrambled around my room & I actually can't read anything I've written. But I'll probably never throw them out because they are too special.
And I guess the point of this post was to acknowledge to myself that yeah, I do miss writing journals & reading back on what I felt after a particular event or whatever. I'm much more honest and analytical these days though, so I probably should exercise some level of self-restraint. I've written two days of placement journal and I realised that I was writing things that actually had nothing to do with placement, and quotes people had told me and how I was amused by them. I. miss. being. a. chronic. journal- er.
Quote of the day: "Is it ethical to stalk clients on facebook?"
nb: obviously no names/agencies etc will be mentioned.
The fact is, I'm a chronic diary writer. This begun in primary school after I watched the movie 'Harriet the Spy' with Michelle Tratchenberg
It got to the point where I was hiding plastic mirrors in my dressing gown pockets & running around the backyard with a journal, writing down notes like the fact that the old couple in the house next door to us were watching tv. I should not be admitting this in a journal I post publicly. Anyway. I LOVED this movie, I wonder if I've still got it on video somewhere?
And so I've written journals daily ever since, up to about three years ago. When I stopped it wasn't a conscious decision, I actually felt really really guilty about 'not writing' as I had previously obsessively made time to make sure I wrote at least one page a day. Even if it was just a paragraph. I guess I just let myself off for a few days because I got home late, and then it became a pattern, and I don't feel guilty anymore. Whenever I go through all my stuff/shit I realise that I have so, so many boxes of journals scrambled around my room & I actually can't read anything I've written. But I'll probably never throw them out because they are too special.
And I guess the point of this post was to acknowledge to myself that yeah, I do miss writing journals & reading back on what I felt after a particular event or whatever. I'm much more honest and analytical these days though, so I probably should exercise some level of self-restraint. I've written two days of placement journal and I realised that I was writing things that actually had nothing to do with placement, and quotes people had told me and how I was amused by them. I. miss. being. a. chronic. journal- er.
Quote of the day: "Is it ethical to stalk clients on facebook?"
nb: obviously no names/agencies etc will be mentioned.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
my inability to drive
I haven't posted for ages; my motivation is lacking. I've had a great time the last few weekends; even if this weekend I was a 'grandma' and attended pre-drinks, but didn't head all the way out to CQ because I'm lazy and busy and stressed. The latest essay is...in the progressing stages (75 words today so far wooohooooo), but I'm really intensely freaking about when the fuck I'm going to finish it; I'm working 55 hours a week (university placement + Big W) and I'm supposed to finish essays as well? FML. I'm going out in about an hour; the mother & I are taking a driving lesson to where my placement is (Clayton) & I am also tres stressed about getting there without causing major accidents. I have to cross Princess Hwy, SHIT SHIT SHIT I can't drive for shit & some days I think this problem of mine is getting worse. I'm at an age where my inability to drive is no longer acceptable, my group of friends and I are much more sophisticated and grown up now, we rely on designated drivers more often than public transport and taxi's, and driving to places an hour + away is no big deal. But I'm the little baby that needs to be escorted not because I'm an alcoholic & i want to drink (I very rarely drink) but because I'm not the slightest bit capable of driving anywhere more than 10ks away from my house. And, because I work Friday nights now, if I wanna go out somewhere afterwards...well, I have to drive and I can't so I can't go. I'm also really bad at driving in the dark and the rain (rain I can handle just not when its dark as well)...and I used to be fine with it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not THAT bad of a driver (really, there are so many idiots out there and I'm rarely one of them; I don't ever do anything dangerous), I'm just an extremely extremely nervous driver and a shit parker. I'm actually a really confident driver when I know where I'm going & I blast the radio (especially PBS' hip hop/reggae/dancehall program on Saturday evenings). If you tailgate me I become petrified and probably drive way over the speed limit because I just have visions in my head of people running into me. But anyway. End rant. I have to drive 20ks this afternoon & hopefully I will be able to psych myself up for the trip tomorrow morning. I've borrowed a book on CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) techniques for my latest assignment (topic: managing anxiety) and so perhaps I should apply some of these techniques to myself. I'm serious.
Wow, that was one serious paragraph in one. I really wish people would stop app earring offline on FB, I'm bored and want to avoid my assignment some more, talk to me? I also wish there was lots of posts on Monash Stalker Space to read. Because on the way home from Clayton we have to visit my Grandparents this means I can't go in my tracky-dacs which means I have to squeeze into my jeans again FML I have put on so much weight and I was in agony sitting down in these jeans at pre's. I really should stop making certain comments aloud and making people embarassed, "I can't wait to go home and take these jeans off" amognst other things. And now I have to drive in these jeans? Apparently I have skinny legs...not anymore. argh. Damn. But those multigrain cracker things were really good. Eggs on toast are AMAZING as are bega cheese stringers. Eggs on toast + dvd collection + Sunday Age magazines + herbal tea = ultimate Sunday afternoon fantasy. I wish my essay would burn in hell.
Okay I'm blabbering. Recent musical discoveries/re-discoveries:
The Virgins - One Week of Danger here
***(For the kids that like stuff similar to Animal Collective)
Wow, that was one serious paragraph in one. I really wish people would stop app earring offline on FB, I'm bored and want to avoid my assignment some more, talk to me? I also wish there was lots of posts on Monash Stalker Space to read. Because on the way home from Clayton we have to visit my Grandparents this means I can't go in my tracky-dacs which means I have to squeeze into my jeans again FML I have put on so much weight and I was in agony sitting down in these jeans at pre's. I really should stop making certain comments aloud and making people embarassed, "I can't wait to go home and take these jeans off" amognst other things. And now I have to drive in these jeans? Apparently I have skinny legs...not anymore. argh. Damn. But those multigrain cracker things were really good. Eggs on toast are AMAZING as are bega cheese stringers. Eggs on toast + dvd collection + Sunday Age magazines + herbal tea = ultimate Sunday afternoon fantasy. I wish my essay would burn in hell.
Okay I'm blabbering. Recent musical discoveries/re-discoveries:
The Virgins - One Week of Danger here
***(For the kids that like stuff similar to Animal Collective)
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