Why do I toture myself? At my dreaded place of work, we have cadbury blocks on special: 2 for $5 (but the weekly promotion ends today, for any of my Melbourne friends vowing to rush out & buy some tomorrow). I have purchased 2 blocks: 1 top deck & 1 rocky road, my two favourite. And, because I was in the 'let's spend money on junk food' mode I noticed that Greens & Blacks (the more sophisticated, socially-conscious brand of chocolate) 100g blocks were on special too, so of course I had to buy some, AND another Lindt rabbit. I've bought more Easter chocolate for myself than I have for other people (how embarassing, I'm 22 not 12). Perhaps I should make a note & work out how much money I actually spend on junk food from now until the end of the year. As I'm on this ridiculous 'no sugar' diet (basically no muffins & chocolate, a spoon of fake sugar in my porridge doesn't count) of course I can't eat them yet. However I will break this as a reward for finishing an essay or something like that. I also made an executive decision that if I drink a cocktail with sugar in it (ie Long Island iced tea) this also doesn't count. AND I'm allowed one Wizz Fizz lollipop per day to cure my cravings/get the taste of a cheese sandwich out of my mouth.
Also today I bought some Natural Confectionary lollies because you could buy 3 x
200g packs for $5, and they're normally $2.50 each. God I'm such a bogan....thank god I'm not one of those people who buy literally a whole trolley full of chocolate/lollies when on special (these people are usually ethnic/from overseas to take overseas/own a shop/stocking up for a child's birthday party). I am basically a chronic junk food hoarder. In other hoarding news, I have forbidden myself from buying more cd's until the 3 I've ordered online come (from 2 from ebay & a Melbourne independent record label so it'll be ages). This will probably last about 2days. I need the new TV On The Radio album now.
The point of this post really is to post about how much I'm struggling with NOT eating this junk food. The whole 'outta site, outta mind' thing is absolute bullshit. I spent my entire 3hour shift at work selling easter chocolate & picturing myself devouring an entire packet of Lindt Cookies & Cream eggs infront of the tv, and making lists of chocolate I simply HAD to buy when I finished work. Obsessed much? As for now, I've been home for 4.5hours and haven't touched any of it, it's in a cupboard but I could easily get it without getting off my chair...oh god. It's only 2.75 hours till dinner though & I am sufficiently full on a cheese sandwich, apple, milk and dangerous quantities of herbal tea. I shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about chocolate, I'm blogging about it for FUCKS SAKE. Fuck 3 hour shifts for ruining my morning tea too, after 1 hour I was DYING of hunger I cannot last 3 hours without food that is just cruel.
Anyway I should probably get back to reading journal articles. Tomorrow I will start essay one month in advance, maybe? I'm going downstairs to eat rice biscuits. Bye bye.
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