body pump made hilarious

In the last few days, there are two events to write about: 1. The Espy/Naboo, and 2. My joining the gym. I'm starting with number 2.

2. It's 11:30am & I've just got back from 'Body Pump.' I joined the gym on Friday, seeing as they had a new 2-for-1 offer and because dear mother bear is already a mother, effectively if I pay $100 admin and she pays $50 to drop down her fee, we both get ongoing full memberships for the price of 1. Now, I have endless essays and such to write, so to further procrastinate I thought I'd try out my membership, on a Sunday, when all the young groovy people I'd possibly run into are at home asleep (I'm not groovy, I was up at 6:30am) and it would be full of middle-aged ladies. The class is described as 'strength training class using gym exercises with barbells. No aerobics or co-ordination required - work at your own weight. Results are guaranteed. I thought it sounded like my thing.

So, I rock up, after fixing my as-per-usual carpark far far away from any other cars, and freaking out that the ignition was fucked again because the damn thing wouldnt turn on. Arrive, approach middle-aged lady who looked also to be attending the class, got shown how to set up my plank and where to find the clips for the bars and please realise here I have no idea what anything is called. Very nice lady. I've never been to a class, at a gym, on my own before, so I was terrified. Anyway:

- I used the 1kg weights for the entire class and it was very akward to look busy while most other people spent a good 10 minutes of the class making it harder for themselves.

- The instructer was STRANGE. She was one of those shit-skinny, body-builder types with pig-tails (pigtails in 30+ year-olds?) and bad lipgloss. It became obvious to me that lots of people were there because it was quite a good workout; not because they liked the instructor and felt some sort of loyalty towards her. At one point the song was JET'S 'She's A Genuis' and she was like 'this songs about me!' Nobody laughed.

- The class was very hard. Or at least, I found it very very hard and if my neck is hurting now how much is it going to hurt later?

- What I really hate about gym classes is the music. I hate that they fucking ENCOURAGE people to do movements when ITS NOT IN TIME TO THE MUSIC and gah maybe it's just because I'm a music snob, and I actually can play a musical instrument, but I just can't cope with doing lunges not in sync to the beat. Seriously. I also don't appreciate having the lift up weights in sync with 'go for gold' . It got a bit better when there was a mention of Black-Eyed-Peas - Pump It but that was the main highlight.

- I'm undecided whether I will go again?